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dontcallit.si

An invented department. Real receipts.

The Department of
Elementary Intelligence

Spelling. Handwriting. Basic counting. Washington has declared itself super. We are checking the homework.

No gold stars for finding a letter that never left.

This is our recurring satire series about grand claims running into elementary tasks. The department, grades, and classroom scenes are invented. The speeches and documents linked in each article are real. Nobody here is qualified to diagnose anybody. We are qualified to point at a spelling book.

Department motto: Show your work. Use the whole line. Stop licking the gold star.

Lesson 1

Hidden B

Satirical cartoon of Trump unveiling the B in DUMB as officials applaud and steady a tilted globe. A spelling teacher says, "It's silent. We weren't hiding it."

Trump keeps finding a letter the rest of us left in the spelling book. The article includes twelve records of the recurring routine.

Spelling: B for Been There the Whole Time. Listening: please stop explaining.

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Lesson 2

Penmanship Pending

Invented satirical classroom scene: adult Elon Musk, Dario Amodei, and Greg Brockman sit in tiny desks for a handwriting lesson. A teacher points to Brockman's almost empty worksheet, while Trump shows a sheet reading Unites States.

An invented classroom, three real signatures, and a teacher who would like to know whether Greg needs the rest of the line.

Handwriting: pending. Self-confidence: exceeds the available paper.

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Class will resume when Washington supplies the next worksheet.

Follow dontcallit.si on Bluesky for new lessons. Want to share one? Our cartoon sharing page has the artwork, captions, and credit instructions.