Donald Upgrades Artificial Intelligence by Changing the Artificial Part

Political satire. The launch event, conversations, demonstrations, and dialogue below are invented. Actual naming changes and directives are documented in the factual section and sources.

Key Takeaways

• SpaceX's financial reporting uses Super Intelligence and SI. This is documented adoption of terminology, not proof of a new intelligence threshold.
• Benioff announced SIforce, but Salesforce's English help page checked for this article still says AIforce. Adoption is uneven even within a company.
• The State Department issued detailed naming instructions. A mandatory vocabulary change does not establish a technical improvement.

Donald Trump announced that America had achieved superintelligence at 9:04 a.m., shortly after an aide discovered the Find and Replace button.

The scientists had expected a difficult morning. They had brought evaluation results, safety questions, and several problems that could not be solved by applauding. Donald had brought a preferred adjective.

"How much smarter is it?" a reporter asked.

"Super."

"Compared with what?"

"Before I got here."

The demonstration began with a request for three reliable sources. The machine supplied two websites that did not exist and a restaurant menu from Ohio. Donald called it multidisciplinary.

The breakthrough was alphabetical

The engineering team tried to explain that changing a name did not change a model's capabilities. Donald asked whether those capabilities had tried being more positive.

One researcher proposed a benchmark. The president agreed immediately, assuming it was furniture they could put his name on.

When told it was a test, he asked who had written it. When told it was independent, he asked why they had invited the opposition.

An aide recommended postponing technical questions until after the technology had been declared successful. This received the first unanimous vote of the morning.

Elon brought the new letters

Elon arrived with a presentation about the future. The future contained several graphs, an enormous funding requirement, and an impressive number of things that would be ready later.

Donald asked whether the slides said SI.

"They do now."

The president congratulated him on moving so quickly. A researcher asked whether the system had passed any new tests since breakfast. Elon advanced to a slide about scale.

The researcher repeated the question. Elon made the slide bigger.

Across the room, a corporate branding consultant began invoicing by the letter. Removing an A was a strategic intervention. Adding an S was a transformation. Checking whether anyone understood the difference was outside the scope of work.

Salesforce discovers version control

The Salesforce delegation announced that the new name had been announced. This was a major milestone in the deployment of announcements.

Someone opened a help page and found the old name.

"Legacy documentation," said the consultant.

"It's the current page."

"Continuously evolving legacy documentation."

Donald admired the explanation. It allowed a company to be ahead of its time and behind on its website simultaneously.

The consultant offered a premium package in which the name on the announcement and the name in the instructions would match. Procurement requested a demonstration.

The government installs the adjective

The diplomatic service received the most demanding assignment: make the new vocabulary sound normal in sentences written by adults.

An employee asked whether replacing AI with SI would improve the underlying system. Her supervisor said the directive concerned communications. She asked whether they could communicate that the underlying system needed improvement.

He suggested starting with the font.

By lunch, the fictional launch team had classified changing a heading as modernization, changing an email signature as implementation, and asking what any of this accomplished as resistance to innovation.

Donald returned for the final demonstration.

"What's two plus two?"

"Five," the machine replied.

The room went quiet. An engineer reached for the keyboard. A communications director reached for the engineer.

Donald smiled.

"Four was artificial."

Factual FAQs

Who has actually used SI in formal corporate reporting?

SpaceX's third-quarter 2026 earnings release, filed with the SEC, uses Super Intelligence and SI for a business segment and throughout its discussion of that business. That is concrete usage in investor communications. It does not independently demonstrate superhuman intelligence. 1

Did Salesforce actually change AIforce to SIforce?

Marc Benioff publicly announced the change, according to Salesforce Ben's coverage. Salesforce material also uses SIforce, but the current English help page checked for this article still displayed AIforce. The evidence supports an announced rename and inconsistent implementation, rather than a completed replacement across every company page. 23

What did the State Department tell employees to change?

Government Executive reported that an October 19 department-wide cable required SI terminology in new correspondence, public communications, websites, remarks, and program and system names, subject to legal exceptions. Existing material was to be updated when next revised. 4

Does calling existing AI superintelligence prove that it surpasses people?

No. Salesforce's own explanation distinguishes the conventional meaning of superintelligence, exceeding human cognitive performance across domains, from the federal usage applied to present-day AI. Renaming a system does not establish that it meets the conventional capability threshold. 5

Sources

1. SpaceX third-quarter 2026 earnings release, SEC filing
2. Salesforce Ben: Benioff announces AIforce to SIforce rename
3. Salesforce Help: English AIforce documentation
4. Government Executive: State Department naming directive
5. Salesforce: What Is Super Intelligence?

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