October 2026
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Don Jr.’s wedding registry: towels, toaster, Russian oligarch.
Towels. Toaster. Two after-parties paid for by a Russian oligarch. Don Jr.’s wedding registry needs an oversight aisle.
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AI safety: please behave. We bought a velvet rope.
AI safety, by the honor system. Giant robot. Velvet rope. PLEASE BEHAVE. What happens if it doesn’t?
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Super Intelligence Force. Capes first, powers later.
The Super Intelligence Force has a name. Our cartoon supplies the capes. Actual powers remain a separate purchase.
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SpaceXSI: one small step for a label maker.
Elon can land a rocket. Trump can operate a label maker. Somehow the label maker gets the ceremony. SpaceXSI, explained.
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January 6: law and order comes with a loyalty discount.
Law and order has an asterisk. The January 6 record, the presidential comeback, and a very large pardon stamp. Today’s SI translation: Selective Impunity.
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Sleepy Joe called. He wants his nickname back.
The nickname has a forwarding address. Three invented meeting scenes, a half-finished accusation, and real reporting behind the joke. Welcome to Executive Resting.
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Department of War: tougher stationery, same taxpayer.
The label maker cannot repeal a statute, repair a roof, or explain the bill. Trump and Hegseth admire the new sign while CBO supplies the less glamorous paperwork.
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Trump and Elon are back together. Hide the Pentagon.
The bromance has acquired a war room. Musk returns, Luckey brings the beachwear, and Hegseth gets a mirror. Same genius. Bigger toys. Real sources behind the cartoon.
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Trump’s applause department is hiring. Spine optional.
A Senate audience, a presidential naming offer, and an imaginary room full of people competing to be noticed. The cartoon is invented. The expectation of a spine is real.
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The Kennedy Center meets a branding tantrum
The sign was only the beginning. Cancellations, an opera company’s departure, court-blocked naming attempts, and an Honors ceremony leaving its home.